Once I had written my personal presentation, I had thousands of ideas on what the subject should be for my first blog. It has been a three-year journey, so there are thousand and one stories to tell; but after going around and round the matter I decided that is always good to start from the beginning.
I am one of those people who always carry a book under her arm, because I do not conceive life without reading; However, I never considered that I had writing skills. This has been one of the greatest gifts of this experience, beyond knowing new places, amazing people, being completely immersed in new cultures and building a new life from scratch, I have learned to value my skills and take on new challenges.
During the emotional crisis that I went through after my divorce, I received a lot of help. I met amazing therapists who helped me cry, suffer, pass the bitter drink and then rebuild. I had the support of my family and friends who always cared about making me see how valuable I am. And I met thousands of people during my travels, many of them in a similar situation to mine, others who were simply travelers, and of course many locals who became friends and best guides; at the end of the day people who didn’t know me and unknowingly gave me a word of encouragement at the right time, and helped me understand myself in a different way.
Love is without a doubt the most beautiful and valuable of feelings. We are all love and have the great ability to give love every day. But sometimes, we focus so much on that love and appreciation for each other, that we forget who we are. We forget our own unique definition as complete and individual beings that we are, without getting lost in what it means to be in one relationship and to love someone else. We forget to give love to ourselves.
That happened to me. When my ex-husband filed for divorce, my floor collapsed. I cried for hours and hours trying to understand – How could I conceive of my lifewithout him?
We met in the second semester of college. We were both studying to be veterinary doctors and zootechnists at Tolima University. Having similar tastes made everything easier, as we enjoyed a lot of time together doing the same activities. For both of us, it was great to chase birds searching for the best pictures, trek in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, ride horses around lonely places, argue about cows for hours, better said, all those things that countryside lovers do. And that’s how we finished college together, graduated together, did the internship together, and by the time when we decided to get married we had been together during eight years of relationship, in which neither he nor I, nor the people around us, conceived life without us as a unit.
Redefining myself as a person and as a woman has been a path that has sometimes cost me too much to climb; but again and again, when I reach those difficult peaks that I thought I was not able to reach, I feel my soul comforted with infinite joy. After a long walk in this process, I dare say that I am completely sure that to enjoy a relationship it is important to have similar tastes, otherwise it becomes very difficult to share and distribute time. But according to my own experience, I also know that it is important to keep personal shelters, moments of solitude, friends that are not shared; that is, to find a balance between sharing time with each other, but never forgetting to devote time and care to ourselves, and to value that time as gold.
The idea of traveling, or rather of totally changing life, came from that need to discover who I am. discovering what I like, what I do not like, what I am able to do, what are the things that cause me fear and insecurity, how I can overcome those fears, and I can grow as an individual. After analyzing and pulling conclusions from the toughest moments, and also with the result of therapies, I concluded that taking time and distance was a good decision, a good point to start over, a good way to start fighting my fear of being alone, the best way to find in my hours of solitude how to smile again.
Although at first it was not easy, because during travel there are new challenges and the fact of traveling alone makes it even more complicated; gradually I enjoyed my time more and more. Slowly I started losing the shame to eat alone in a restaurant when around there were just couples; I started gaining courage to walk alone through the streets, and I even learned to take very good selfies to put once in a while the memory of my face in the photos. When I realized, I became a person who love asking questions and sit down to share my story with strangers. I went from never expressing my feelings to talking about any topic with people I had met five minutes ago, even the most personal issues. And in all those moments I learned that life brings you the necessary message at the right time. I learned to value the small details, I learned to be happy with the slightest. I lost the fear of smiling.
It would never have been possible to tell this story without the right hands and words of support. And that is why today, I enjoy using my time writing these letters. Because I am very conscious that listening and reading the stories of other people who had been through the same situation as me, gave me the strength to follow, to continue every day, to stop crying, to dry my tears, to put on a nice dress, and go out to dance this life that has so much to offer. I hope that this writing and my experience I can help others to regain their smile too. If you want to know more about my story follow this link https://colombiatoindia.com/about/